9 ways to keep your married sex exciting

Another easy way to keep things exciting is to stay out of the bedroom and get it on somewhere else. Keep it fresh and new by always trying new places and new positions.

Black couple

1. Give yourself some sexy reflection time

Time to reflect on what turns you on. By blocking off just a few minutes a day to individually focus on positive thoughts and memories of your sex life, you are reinforcing erotic thinking and openness to later arousal. It only takes about three to five minutes to help refocus your brain on those things that trigger excitement and pleasure.

2. Make a sexual wish list

If you've got sexual fantasies, it's time to put pen to paper. Then, share your lists with each other and gain a more intimate look of what your partner might be fantasizing about or what turns them on. Maybe you'll say no to some things, but compromise and offer to try out some of the other items on the list. The list can be anywhere from three to five things that are on your mind.

3. Don't skimp on the date night

Being married is no excuse to forgo dating. In fact, dates provide a sense of variety that help stimulate the dopamine system to create stronger arousal and responsiveness. To make this effect even a little more potent, pick a place or an activity that's new for you both to share together."

4. Get your game night on

And we're not talking board games. "The main idea is to make sex fun again. So introduce a game, like strip poker, for example. Eventually both of you lose and have taken all your clothes off, and this is a great way to have sexual fun together.

5. Don't forget foreplay. Before you both got together, it may have seemed that foreplay was used as a negotiation to decide whether you were going to have sex. And consequently, the amount of foreplay seems to drop off as couples already know they want to sleep with each other.

But foreplay is an essential part of arousal she says, and adding it back in to your regular sexual routine could contribute to stronger erections for him, and stronger orgasms for her.

6. Try out show-and-tell

Rather than simply ticking off what you'd like to try out, Greer suggests starting a sexy game of show-and-tell. "Show your partner where your hot spots are. Sometimes people forget or just don't have the patience. Ask your partner to show you where they think your spots are, and then show them the rest.

7. Change your sheets

Having better sex can be as simple as slipping on new sheets. Putting on a clean set of sheets that you love can force the brain to pay a little more positive attention to arousal. Choose sheets that feel yummy on your skin and create a sense of sexiness in your mind.

8. Change locations

Maybe the shower, the kitchen, on the dining room table. Try to shake it up and make it different so that it brings in an element of the unknown.

9. Learn how your partner likes to be invited to have sex

So many couples incorrectly assume that they can perfectly read each other's signals when it comes to letting each other know they'd like to get frisky.

Instead, "it's best to have a playful conversation at a neutral time and ask each other how they best like to be asked for sex. You may be surprised at what you find at this simple way of opening up the lines of communication, according to brides.


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