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Relationship Talk 5 reasons insecure people can be the most abusive in relationships

People who are insecure have an erroneous conception of their self-worth. There is a hollow inside of them they need filled, constantly.

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Black couple play

Black couple

On the surface, you would think all one has to deal with when they are in a relationship with an insecure, emotionally dependent person is to tolerate their bothersome jealousies and silent treatment.

Often, the possibility that needy partners can emotionally abuse their others is overlooked. Nothing is more damaging to a person’s confidence and self-esteem than being in an emotionally abusive relationship.

Insecure people have a way of manipulating their partners, and these are some of the ways they do that:

  • They don’t mind putting you down most of the time

People who are insecure have an erroneous conception of their self-worth. There is a hollow inside of them they need filled, constantly.

If they have to push you down and make you feel less just so they can feel good about themselves, they wouldn’t mind doing just that. And that is why insecure people can be abusive.

  • It is never their faults

They often think they are the victims, and you’re the aggressor. They blame you for their life difficulties and unhappiness. It takes a while for them to sit back and realise that they are crossing boundaries and making inroads into you dignity and privacy.

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  • They like it when you rely on them for everything

There are some insecure partners who may come across as hyper-independent. They give help you out financially, buy you expensive gifts, sign you up for expensive seminars etc.

When dealing with such ‘emotionally-balanced’ partners, who are in fact insecure, they may make subtle threats with the intent to frighten or control you. They will use any thing that can serve as leverage to keep you forever reliant on them.

  • You don’t see what hit you

Who would ever think that their needy, weepy, sensitive partner can ever abuse them emotionally? Aha!

  • They view you as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual

They desire to make you theirs and theirs alone. It is hard for them to accept that you are an individual with your own plans and aspirations. As a result, the get moody when you have a life outside their love and their world.

By Dede Williams

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