Living with a cheat: 5 people explain why they stayed after finding out their partner cheated

Some say they stayed just for the kids.

Why I stayed after my partner cheated on me [Source: Essence]

It’s 2019 and Clintons are still married. Over 20 years and several accusations against Bill later, Hillary remains his wife and it’s one thing that many people – not just women - can relate with.

Having a partner cheat, or worse, continue to cheat, and still be in the relationship for one reason or another... it is sometimes a matter of choice, at other times a matter of expedience and for some, it’s a matter of image.

Here, people with cheating partners who chose to stay even after finding out explain why they did it:


1. Got used to it

One woman says it became quite normal to turn a blind eye because of emotional detachment.

“Over the years, we just stopped caring for each other in a romantic way,” she wrote. “We just stopped caring for each other in a romantic way.”

“Neither of us minds it too much. At the very least, they’re reliable. Fun to watch TV with.”

2. Couldn’t let the other woman win


For this person, it was a case of sticking to the man to the detriment of the other woman. Leaving would have presented the man the opportunity to go to the other woman full time and that was a thing she wasn’t willing to have.

“Because divorcing him means that little gold digging b*tch gets what she wants.”

3. I just loved him too much


There is bound to be that woman who loved through it all or who still continues to stay because she [thinks she] loves the man too much to dump him for cheating.

“I stayed because I loved him,” she said. “I had never lived on my own and had been in relationship all my adult life, so didn’t know how not to be in one. Also, he was all I had for a long time.”

“And it seemed that, in some way, he loved me. Obviously he was getting something from her that he wasn’t getting from me, but he was still getting something from me that he couldn’t get from her.

“I’m boring, I’m not attractive. The fact that someone was having sex with me on occasion and telling me he loved me was a miracle.”

She eventually left her husband, and was sorry she didn’t do it sooner.


4. Low self-esteem

There is a link sometimes between low self esteem and allowing people treat you wrongly.

“I defined my own happiness based on the idea of having a partner,” one man wrote. “If I had a partner I was okay, even if the relationship was toxic because she was abusing my trust.”

For another user, it was all about “depression and co-dependence.”


“I never had real proof until late in the marriage, but I suspected many times. I was right and really felt something was wrong but ignored it because I was in a terrible place with myself.”

5. Kids

Another woman ignored her partner cheating for a year because she had a newborn and that is one theme common to these cheating instances.

People would always consider their kids and decide to remain for the sake of keeping them in a ‘functional’ family; one which had mum and dad present in the kids’ formative years, at least.


But as we have already written here, that could actually be doing more harm than good.


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