Should you tell your new partner everything about your past

For some people a new relationship often means an exciting opportunity to get to know another person. Such an excitement results in temptations to tell your partner everything about your past.

Happy couple (Shutterstock)

Honesty is a great virtue, really, but not every detail of your past has to be shared. In fact, there is certain information that is best kept to yourself. Full disclosure is exaggerated, and here’s why.

·      Everyone has a right to privacy. Unless the information is very relevant to the healthy growth of your relationship, you don’t have to sacrifice your right to private information. Fine, you may have to reveal certain vital information-like the number of kids you have for example- but what do you stand to gain if you tell your partner about your cheating history?

·      Premature confessions may communicate the wrong message to your partner; messages like you don’t know how to keep secrets for example. If all it took was three weeks before you told your new partner about your horrible ex, it would be natural if your partner can’t trust you to keep your mouth shut about his(her) business.

·      You may be rushing in too soon. Remember, it is a new relationship. You don’t exactly know everything about this new person. Revealing too much about yourself can communicate an insecurity you didn’t intend to communicate; very few people-if any at all- want to be in a relationship with people who exhibit signs of chronic insecurity.

·      There is something about mysteriousness that attracts people. Your plan is to get to know your new partner in the fullest, most meaningful way. What’s the point in rushing such a wonderful process? You have so much time to tell each other things, and all in the right time. Issues unravel themselves naturally, and it is always better to take the time to judge your partner’s responses to issues before you open up entirely about your past.


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