Cheating is an ever-present scourge on the dating and marriage culture we have here – and any other part of the world for that matter.
Such is the difficulty people apparently encounter in staying with one partner that the very concept of monogamy and its applicability to human beings has been called to question over and over again. But of course, that conversation is one best not had here. So, we’ll sidestep it and get to the gist of this piece.
What’s next when a partner cheats on you? Do you dump them and move on? Or do you look for a way to mend bridges and move on from that episode. Is there any reason to not send such partner packing?
Yes, there are. And while leaving a cheating partner remains a valid choice should you choose to do that, here are some three reasons why you may want to do the opposite of it; that is, forgive and keep the relationship going.
1. Genuine remorse
Cheating is not a mistake. That bit is undeniable. Anyone who cheats would have very likely thought it out and planned it before executing the heartbreaking action. Regardless, we can’t discount the truth in the fact that when someone does this, there is also the possibility that they would regret the action and seek out a way to fix what they have done.
If your spouse has been committed to repairing your marriage or relationship, it’s worth forgiving them. They clearly want to make things work and understand the mistakes they’ve made. They’ll have to work really hard to regain your trust and make it right again. But if they are willing to walk down that long road, you should be willing to meet them halfway, with open arms and the gift of forgiveness
2. Is it worth saving?
Frankly, this may be the biggest of all the tips on fixing a relationship after one partner cheats. You know your partner more than anyone, and you have the details of your relationship and the work, effort and all that has been poured into it before the point when your partner decides to do something that would jeopardise and piss it all away.
Considering all of this, do you consider the relationship worth saving? Do they want to keep it, too, or is the cheating just emblematic of their decision to let go of everything? Is there enough left to salvage? Do you think there is a chance that the relationship could move beyond the cheating
Forgiving isn't just continuing the marriage holding on to anger and hurt, it's actually letting go and actively practicing trust again. Your spouse will never be able to make you heal, even if they're trying hard to regain your trust. Only you can decide to heal then pursue healing.
3. A one-time thing
Some partners are serial cheats, and some are not. If the problem is an anomaly and not business as usual, it’s worth trying to work things out.
For instance, if a person messes up and they’ve never done this before, it’s worth working it through especially if your partner expresses remorse.
If we are being honest, there is nothing to say they won’t do it again, but then, if you are good with taking that chance on them, then show a little faith and give them a second chance to prove that they want the relationship with you.