Ladies, here’s why it’s important to know about a guy’s dating history

There are relationship guidelines we’ve all heard; one of them being that you should never bring up your ex with your next partner.

Black couple

But, really, how possible is that? How do you date someone or even people for long periods, your life and theirs intertwined at several phases, and then never have to talk about them ever again because of a new person who comes along after they have become history?

While you might be hesitant to talk about your exes with your new guy or ask him about his, it can actually be a really important part of building a strong relationship foundation. It may make you feel uncomfortable to hear about the women he’s dated before you, but here’s why it pays to ask him about his dating history.

  • Avoiding it will run your imagination wild

It’s better to know the truth about your partner’s past than to wonder about it and create scenarios in your mind that have no basis in reality. You might not like everything you hear when talking about his dating history but at least you will know rather than be left in the dark about it. Sometimes what we think or how we perceive things isn’t the actual truth, and that can be severely damaging.

  • It's okay to know why his relationships ended

Was he cheated on or did he cheat? Was he in a serious long-term relationship that ended, and why did it end? Asking questions about his dating history will help you understand why his past relationships ended and give you some insight into what mistakes to avoid making in your relationship now.

  • You can tell a lot about a person by the way they talk about their exes

If every girl he dated screwed him over, there’s a chance that he’s the type of person who refuses to take responsibility for his own actions. On the other hand, you don’t want your boyfriend to be gushing over any of his exes. There’s a fine line, but the way he talks about his romantic past will definitely tell you a lot about who he is as a person.

  • It's better to be aware of any big issues or red flags early

Having this discussion gives him the opportunity to be upfront about his romantic past and shows that you’re willing to listen and be understanding. There are some things, such as a failed engagement or if his ex blindsided him with cheating, that he might have wanted to share with you but never felt like it was the right time.

  • His response will give you an idea about how he feels about your relationship

If he brushes it off like nothing special happened in his romantic past, he might just not feel like he can trust you or feel like he’s ready to be that vulnerable yet. If he is willing to open up and give you some details that are private and not typically shared with other people, that’s a signal he’s invested in your relationship and feels like he can be completely real with you.

  • What's the point in pretending that exes don't exist

Some people have been in more serious long-term relationships than others, but it’s unlikely that you’re dating someone with absolutely no romantic history, and he should understand that about you too. It’s silly to avoid talking about your boyfriend’s dating history because the experiences and relationships he had shaped him into the guy you’re with today. Just like you want to know about his childhood and other things about his life before you, it makes sense to share details about our romantic past with our current partner.

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