Relationship lessons from American presenter's love life
Oprah's relationship might be unconventional, but we can all still learn from it.
However, she and partner, Graham Stedman have been together for over 30 years, unseparated and strong as ever.
The remarkableness of this is made even more prominent after her interview in the just published edition of Vogue USA on August 14 2017, where she explains that the need to translate their relationship to marriage has never particularly been an issue for them.
“Nobody believes it, but it’s true. The only time I brought it up was when I said to Stedman, ‘What would have happened if we had actually gotten married?’
"And the answer is: ‘We wouldn’t be together.’ We would not have stayed together, because marriage requires a different way of being in this world.”
As uncomfortable as that might sound, it’s the truth and it’s as blatantly honest as you’d ever get.
While Oprah Winfrey’s style might not be the ideal that everyone aspires to, it’s not absurd. It is out of the box, and non-conformist to societal values but it has worked for more than 30 years, so there has to be something she’s doing right.
So what can be learnt from Oprah Winfrey’s unconventional love life?
1. No pressures
Whether to be in a relationship or to marry, never ever feel pressured.
Society is going to try to tell you that at 25 or 30 or something, you should no longer be single or unmarried and all that but as it has been repeatedly shown, marriage does not guarantee happiness, and the earlier one gets into it does not affect the chances of happiness one has.
And hey, if never marrying or never having kids is what’s going to make you happy, please go on and do so!
No one is as responsible for your happiness as you.
2. Be yourself even in relationships
Please and please, never feel the need to compulsorily dumb down to accommodate anyone in your life.
A little concession here and a little compromise there won’t hurt. But losing yourself, becoming a totally different person so as to fit the idea of what someone wants in a partner is not cool.
Don’t be that guy or that babe whose friends can no longer recognize just because you found love or got married.
Retain that brilliance, effervescence, bubbly nature and other amazing things you were before you fell in love or married.
Don’t let anyone dim your light because you let them into your life. Shine on kings and queens.
3. Someone that understands you
It is unimaginable that Oprah would still be with Stedman Graham if he wasn’t understanding.
Here’s what Oprah says:
"His interpretation of what it means to be a husband and what it would mean for me to be a wife would have been pretty traditional, and I would not have been able to fit into that.”
So what did they do? They did not get married but have remained together for all these years.
When asked what lesson she’s gotten from this experience, Oprah says; “live life on your own terms.”
And that's the biggest of them all.
Live on your own terms, people, and learn to love on your own terms, too.
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