Visiting a partner unannounced: Can it ever be wrong?

I was in church the other day and my Pastor, Rev Deji Olabode of the Enthronement House Christian Center, as an aside to what he was originally talking about, mentioned that ladies in committed relationships should make unannounced visits to their partner’s houses occasionally.

Obviously, what that implies is that cheating partners will likely become discovered before the relationship turns to a marriage.

Unannounced visits provide a slim chance of getting to know what a partner does behind your back. And if cheating is one of those things, you could get to know before it’s too late.

When I asked a few colleagues about their thoughts on this subject; one, a man, answers and says: “If you can’t visit your partner unexpectedly, who should you visit?”

And the other, a woman, adds that: “No way. I’d never do that. I don’t want to see anything that could possibly ruin my peace of mind. What you do not know will not kill you, please.”

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Of course, walking in on another man or woman at your partner’s apartment, and in an obviously compromising state does not mean the relationship will end. Some people would rather continue with the demon they already know rather than go out to seek for an angel they may or may never find.

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Does this mean your partner does not trust you?

One sub-theme of this conversation on unannounced visits is the presence or absence of trust. When partners make these sudden visits on each other, there is an implication of a lack of trust and the partner on whom the surprise is sprung may [rightly] feel a little awkward, knowing that the other partner might have been hoping to find them involved in something unsavoury.

What if you catch a partner cheating [Credit: Binhu] What if you catch a partner cheating [Credit: Binhu] Pulse Nigeria

But should that really be a problem?

Absolutely not. Dating and being in a relationship is an inherently risky game. Anything can happen. The most angelic woman could be the worst of the lot and the sweetest man could actually be a demon masking as a sweet boy.

Experience has taught that it is a wise thing to do every act of due diligence before pledging your life to someone. You want to be sure, as much as possible, that the person you end up with is who you actually think they are.

So if unannounced visits are one of your partner’s ways of ascertaining your genuineness, then let them do it. If you have nothing to hide, they’ll find nothing and eventually, their curiosity will be satisfied.

Besides, like one of the respondents above said: if you cannot visit your partner unannounced, who should you then be visiting without prior information?