Have you ever found yourself zoning out while staring at your crush, lost in your daydream of a scenario where youâd both be drinking one milkshake with two straws, and then quickly acting like you were looking elsewhere when they caught you?
Developing feelings for someone can be an exciting and nervy affair. Part of the fun (read: anxiety) is when youâre trying to figure out if the feelings are mutual. So, when you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too? How can you tell?
No, the answer doesnât lie in how their heart reacts to every message you send them or how they respond to your stories (although they are definitely positive signs). Intense attraction signs will often be a lot less ambiguous.
When you feel a connection with someone, do they feel it too? If you know what signs to look for, you can figure out in no time if they feel the same way or if theyâd prefer a night of Netflix and ice cream over you.
It could be that person you met through a dating app, a friend youâve known for a while or someone who you were introduced to at a social gathering.
Feeling magnetically drawn to someone will leave you daydreaming about going on dates with this person, trying to be their personal stand-up comedian just to make them laugh, composing cute texts in your head to send them. Hereâs a tip though: donât overthink your comedy routine yet. Itâll be of no use when you end up nervously babbling about your hobbies on your first date.
But to make sure there is a first, second and third date (fingers crossed!), you need to be able to tell if they fancy you as much as you fancy them. So, when you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too? Or could it just be all in your head?
Letâs get into the 7 surefire signs that tell us the feelings are mutual and the multiple date scenarios youâve made up in your head might one day become a reality:
- The conversation flows smoothly
One of the biggest intense attraction signs is when the conversations you two have with each other donât feel like interrogations and are naturally fun. Even if youâre texting, you wonât have to overthink every reply, trying to find the optimum balance between witty and charming. You wonât be thinking about things like how to keep a conversation going.
Youâll say things that come to your mind, you wonât be too worried about if what youâre saying is lame or not, and you wonât be memorizing topics of conversation before you go see this person.
To try and assess if this happens to you, take note of the next phone/face-to-face conversation you have with this person. Compare that to when you werenât attracted to them or when you had just met them. Youâll notice thereâs a significant change in the way you two talk to each other.
- Theyâre interested in getting to know you
What happens when you feel attracted to someone? Youâd like to get to know everything about this person, right? Their likes and dislikes, their hobbies, their favourite haunts, the way their voice breaks when they get excited.
Similarly, youâll see a noticeable interest from the other person in getting to know you as well. Your conversations wonât just be centred around them, but theyâll ask you questions about yourself and youâll feel more than comfortable in sharing details about yourself (please donât share your Netflix password, youâre not there yet!
Feeling magnetically drawn to someone inclines you towards getting to know the person better. If youâre trying to answer the question âWhen you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?â, take note of how interested they are in getting to know you.
- Youâre both happy in each otherâs company
If you have a gut feeling someone is attracted to you, youâll be certain of it if you see it translated on their face. Think of your professional meetings and conversations with clients/colleagues. In those conversations, thereâs no denying that most of you wish for it to end as soon as possible, right? Thatâs pretty much what all of us are thinking the minute we press âmuteâ on the zoom call.
But when youâre conversing with someone you like, youâll notice a sudden lift in your mood and in their mood as well. Without doing anything together, youâll end up having a better time than you do with most other people.
If their smiles have got you thinking youâre the funniest person on earth, you need to know that you currently have an easy-to-please crowd, because theyâre already gaga over you.
- The body language displays intense attraction signs
Nothing on this list answers the question âWhen you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?â is better than noticing their body language. The next time youâre with this person, pay attention to their body language. Youâll get way more information than you ever thought possible, without even listening to what theyâre saying (make sure you do notice what theyâre saying though, you donât want them to feel like theyâre talking to themselves).
Think about this â what do you feel when youâre attracted to someone? You feel happy with them, you long for them, and you want to make a great impression when youâre with them, right? If they feel the same, itâll be obvious through how they conduct themselves.
Look out for signs like blushing cheeks, an inviting stance (un-crossed arms and legs, eye contact, standing close to each other) and things like dilated pupils. You might end up creepily staring into their eyes for that last one, but the others will be pretty easy to spot.
- Hints of sexual tension
If youâre a few weeks/months into your crush and have a gut feeling someone is attracted to you, you may notice mild hints of sexual tension. A lingering gaze, a flirtatious remark, or physical contact are all signs of mutual attraction.
Early in your crush, chances are there wonât be many glaring signs of sexual tension. Sometimes they take a while to develop. It all depends on how comfortable you are with each other and what scenario you see each other in.
If youâre both colleagues, we hope for the sake of your jobs that youâve kept a lid on the flirting and the physical contact while at work.
- You copy each other
This sign might be harder for you to catch, simply because youâre so lost in this personâs eyes (aww!) but itâll be clear as day for the people around you. Youâll both start talking similarly, youâll move your hands the same way, youâll copy each otherâs tones, youâll start liking the same things.
The high-pitched tone this person talks in when theyâre excited/laughing might have been adopted by you weeks ago, unbeknownst to you. The way you roll your eyes when you hear something lame isnât uniquely yours anymore, itâs something this person has adopted as well.
If youâre copying each otherâs nuances like so, you donât even need to ask âwhen you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?â And yes, get ready for a lot of teasing and good-natured ribbing from friends who have picked up on these signs.
- You can just feel something brewing
The best way to know when someone is just as into you as you are to them is when you have a gut feeling that someone is attracted to you. You might even be lying to yourself by ignoring the signs of interest, but deep down, youâll know if they like you or not.
Are they indifferent? Or does their face light up when they see you? Chances are, you know the answer already. You might even be reading this article since youâre too scared to ask them out. If youâre convinced there are signs of mutual attraction, just go for it!
With the signs, we listed out for you, we hope you can now comfortably answer the question, âWhen you feel attracted to someone, do they feel it too?â If, unfortunately, the signs arenât there, well, at least now you know better than to let infatuation take hold of you and drift off into a land of daydreaming.
On the other hand, if the signs all seem positive, congratulations, youâve just found yourself, someone, to share a day-old Chinese takeaway with in the future.