Danielle Fishel Says She Blamed Herself For Her Baby's Chylorthorax And NICU Stay

Danielle Fishel is opening up about how emotionally intense her sons NICU stay was for her.

The Boy Meets World stars son Adler stayed in the NICU for three weeks after he was born in late June after doctors noticed he had fluid retained in his lungs. In a new interview with People , Danielle says she blamed herself for his illness.

I had this feeling instantly of somehow it was my fault, she said. Baby Adler had chylothorax, which she describes as a leak in the lymphathic system that was exacerbated by breast milk. As a result of Adlers condition, Danielle said she and her husband had to take him off of breast milk and put him on a specially formulated formula that doesnt use the lymphatic system.

Danielle said that was hard for her to grasp. This milk that Im producing thats supposed to keep him alive and is supposed to be the healthiest thing for him is the thing thats keeping him in the hospital, she remembered thinking. I just felt like it was somehow my fault. Even though I knew that wasnt really rational, its hard.

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Danielle said she felt like a failure for not being able to nurse her child. You want your body and everything you do as a mom to be functioning optimally for your baby and when its not, you feel like a failure, she said. There was a little bit of a mourning process and a grieving process for me there.

However, Danielle said, she now feels better about the whole thing. Now that Ive come to terms with it and I know that hopefully the plan is that I get to transition back to breast milk in the next few weeks, Im feeling much better about that. Well see how it goes, she said.

View this post on Instagram The house is a mess, I have a stye on my left eye, I haven't showered in two days, I can't remember when I did anything (when did we change his diaper last? What time did I pump?), @jensenkarp and I now take baby night shifts where we pass each other like zombies on a mission, and they are some of the best days of my life. A post shared by Danielle Fishel Karp (@daniellefishel) on Jul 19, 2019 at 8:58am PDT

Danielle said shes not totally sure Adler will ever be able to nurse, though. I dont anticipate [Adler] ever latching because hes never been on my breast before, so it may be possible that hes never able to actually breastfeed that way, but I have plenty of milk stored and I can always feed him from a bottle, she said. Hes a pro with the bottle now.

View this post on Instagram Adler is 3 weeks old today and officially a NICU graduate! Thank you to everyone at @childrensla and especially our primary nurses @cassiejosharrod and @quyenlyyy. We never wanted to know this hospital and its staff so well but now that we do, we can say with certainty there is no better place for children with medical needs. Now we hope to never be back. :) Finally, our love and hugs to every single parent who has ever spent time in the NICU and especially those we left behind today. A post shared by Danielle Fishel Karp (@daniellefishel) on Jul 15, 2019 at 1:18pm PDT

Danielle said she realized through her experience that mom guilt does not waste any time kicking in noting that she experienced it instantly.

Every second that you are awake doing anything, you feel guilty that you arent at home, she said. Every second that youre at home, you feel like youre missing out on the other things that youre supposed to be doing.

Baby Adler is now home and apparently doing well.