The pull-out method that nearly cost me my GH¢20,000-a-month job

What is a relationship without missing your babe and wanting to have a moment with him? But that moment can feel very different when you are sitting on the floor of your parents' house, counting days on a calendar and wondering whether your period has decided to disappear.

Especially when you are not ready for a pregnancy.

I sat on the sitting-room floor of my parents' house in Accra one Saturday morning after everyone had left. I was trying to remember the date of my last period.😥

And suddenly, I couldn't. That was when the panic started.

I picked up my phone and started searching the internet like I was preparing for a medical examination.

It all started with “I'll pull out.” Those were the words that almost sent me into a week-long emotional crisis. 

My boyfriend always said it with the confidence of a man who had apparently earned a master's degree in withdrawal.

“Don't worry. I'll pull out.” And I believed him. I fell for those words the same way I fell for Down Flat by Kelvyn Boy.

I trusted him. He trusted himself. And somehow, we had turned confidence into a family-planning strategy.

For months, “We'll be careful” became our plan. Just vibes, and chilling like our problems were solved in the world. Looking back, it sounds ridiculous. At the time, it felt normal.

Day one? Calm.

Day three? Hmm.

Day five?

ChatGPT had officially become my full-time employer. I was searching everything. Every headache became a possible pregnancy symptom. Every craving became suspicious. Every bloated feeling? Every yawn? Even my mood started worrying me.

I couldn't concentrate properly. Everything in the house annoyed me, and instead of thinking, Maybe I'm stressed because I'm scared, my mind went straight to: “I'm pregnant.” Not because I didn’t want a pregnancy but I was not prepared. 

The internet wasn't helping either. The more I searched, the more pregnancy-related content appeared on my social media feeds. 

I became completely unable to focus on work. Every time I stepped into the office, my mind was consumed by a single question: could I be pregnant? My productivity plummeted to the point where I had to take three days of leave just to gather my thoughts and process the overwhelming anxiety—a period during which I was almost replaced.

At some point, I started praying like I was negotiating a major government contract.

“God, please.” I made promises. I even started imagining how my parents would react.

At one point, I thought about pranking them just to see what they would do if I told them I was pregnant. Then I realised I wasn't brave enough to actually conduct that experiment.

Waiting three or four weeks to find out felt like an eternity.

Eventually, I bought a pregnancy test.

That morning, I had never prayed so hard in my life.

I took the test. Waited. Looked. I looked again.

Negative.

You can imagine the joy on my face. Thank God. I almost collapsed from relief. I rolled on the floor like I won a lottery.

The withdrawal method, commonly called the pull-out method, involves the penis being withdrawn from the vagina before ejaculation.

It can reduce the chance of pregnancy, but it is not one of the most reliable contraceptive methods.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), withdrawal has a relatively high failure rate with typical use. About 20–22 out of every 100 women may become pregnant within a year when withdrawal is used as the only method of contraception.

With perfect use, the risk is much lower, but perfect use is difficult because withdrawal requires the penis to be completely removed before ejaculation every time.

And there is another important point: Withdrawal does not protect against sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

So “I'll pull out” is not the same thing as “we are protected.”

While I was busy worrying about pregnancy, I realised I hadn't asked myself another important question:

That question may sound uncomfortable, but it matters.

HIV is still present in Ghana, with thousands of new infections recorded each year. And the truth is, you cannot look at someone and know their HIV status.

Not their looks.Not their lifestyle.Not how much you love them.

That is why protection matters, especially when you don't know your partner's current status.

And here's something my pregnancy scare taught me: the pull-out method only deals with pregnancy risk. It does not protect you from HIV or other sexually transmitted infections.

A condom can help protect against HIV and other STIs while also reducing the risk of pregnancy.

So, young people, let's normalise the conversations we sometimes avoid.

• "Have you tested recently?"

• "Should we use a condom?"

• "What contraception works for us?"

These questions don't mean you don't trust your partner. They mean you care enough about yourself and each other to make informed choices.

Because honestly, love is beautiful, but love alone is not protection.

I learnt that contraception isn't one-size-fits-all. There are several options, including condoms, pills, injections, implants and intrauterine devices (IUDs), among others.

Some methods are used every time you have sex, while others can provide protection for months or years.

The important thing is finding a method that works for your body, your circumstances and your plans, preferably with guidance from a qualified healthcare professional.

And condoms remain particularly important because, unlike most other contraceptive methods, they can also help reduce the risk of sexually transmitted infections when used correctly and consistently.

Today, I can laugh at how confidently we were “winging it.”

But the truth is that I wish I had asked more questions before becoming sexually active.

I wish I had understood contraception instead of relying on what my boyfriend said.

I wish “I'll pull out” had never sounded like a comprehensive reproductive health plan.

Because love can be blind. But your contraception shouldn't be.

My biggest lesson from that week was simple: Hoping isn't a contraceptive method. Neither is “he said he's careful.”

Because nothing humbles you quite like sitting on your parents' floor in Accra at 8 a.m., staring at a pregnancy test and suddenly remembering every time your boyfriend said:

“Don't worry. I'll pull out.”

Inspired by a story published by Pulse Nigeria