Captivating vows every groom should make to his future wife

Every man should at least make a vow to commit to these 24 things and more:

I will never leave an empty toilet paper roll in the bathroom (or hang a fresh roll upside down like a monster).

I know, you don't have to say it: I'll be a hero husband and all of your friends will be hella-jealous of how much I spoil you.