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Jealousy is a tricky business, and it often disguises itself as something else entirely—concern, a bit of banter, or even tough love. It can put you on the back foot, making you question your own intuition.
But once you know what to look for, the signs are often difficult to ignore. Spotting them isn't about being paranoid; it's about recognising that not every relationship is as healthy as it appears.
Here are five tell-tale signs that your mate might be harbouring a little envy.
1. They Give Backhanded Compliments
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This is the classic sign of a jealous friend. Instead of a straightforward compliment, you get a phrase that's coated in thinly veiled criticism.
They might say, "Your new car is brilliant, I can't believe they gave a loan to someone with your credit score," or "That dress looks amazing on you! It’s crazy that it wasn't more expensive." It’s a way of trying to cut you down while pretending to lift you up.
2. They Disappear When Things Go Well for You
If your friend is always around for a moan, but suddenly vanishes when you’ve got good news to share, that’s a massive red flag. Maybe you’ve just landed a dream job or met someone great, and they’re nowhere to be found.
They won’t celebrate your successes because it highlights what they feel they’re lacking. They’d much rather be there when you’re both on the same level, or even better, when they’re the one getting ahead.
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3. They Downplay Your Achievements
You've just told them about a big promotion, and their response is to say, "Oh, that's just a title, the pay is probably rubbish," or "Well, anyone could have done that, it's not a big deal."
They simply cannot bring themselves to give you the credit you deserve. A true friend would be your biggest cheerleader, celebrating your wins as if they were their own. A jealous one will always try to make your triumphs seem smaller than they are.
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4. They’re Excessively Competitive with You
A little healthy competition is normal, but with a jealous friend, it becomes a constant battle. Whatever you do, they have to one-up you. You book a holiday to Spain, and they immediately start looking at flights to Thailand.
You buy a new telly, and suddenly they’re talking about getting a massive plasma screen. It's not about what they want; it’s about making sure they have something better than you do, which can be exhausting to be around.
5. They Revel in Your Misfortunes
This is the most painful sign to witness. If you've had a bad day, a genuine friend will offer a shoulder to cry on and some solid advice. A jealous friend, however, seems to have a glint in their eye.
They might be overly keen to hear all the details of your misfortune or offer insincere sympathy. While it's subtle, you can often feel a sense of satisfaction from them because your setback, in their mind, puts you back on their level.
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At the end of the day, a true friendship should be a two-way street of mutual respect and celebration. It can be incredibly painful to recognise that someone you trust might be harbouring resentment. If you're seeing these signs, it's not about jumping to conclusions, but about trusting your gut feeling. A real mate should want you to succeed, and their happiness for you should never be conditional on your struggles. Taking a step back and evaluating the relationship might be the best thing you can do for your own wellbeing.