‘The Ussy’ Is Like Having Sex With a Gourd, But in a Good Way

The Ussy has two distinct compartments: the base, which is wider and where you insert your penis; and then the top, where the sex toy curves in. Its tough to tell from the pictures, but The Ussy is on the larger side. Its roughly 9 inches in length, so even bigger guys wont have a problem fitting their entire junk in it.

Check out this video on The Ussy. It's safe for work, and...um...interesting:

After ripping open the sex toy from its airtight sealed packaging, I washed it out, as directed on the instructions. (Im realizing now Ive never washed any other sex toy prior to use and am slightly mortified. Will likely head to urgent care later today.) I then applied some water-based lube to my penis . The toy itself is made from high-quality silicone, which means you cant use silicone-based lube with it. Silicone lube on/in silicone toys erodes the toys over time.

At first, I clearly did not apply enough lube, because it felt rough when I stuck my penis in the device. So I put more lube on myself and the toy, and thats when it started feeling good.

The Ussy is made to be squeezed, and you can squeeze it as hard as you like. This is by far its biggest strength and what separates it from other male masturbators , like the Fleshlight .

I was squeezing The Ussy for dear life, and it felt great. Then I wiggled my penis into the top portion of the toy and squeezed there, which offered a tighter sensation, since the top of The Ussy is more narrow. Even though the device is flexible, it's also sturdy. You can really go to town. Using two hands, you can squeeze and thrust into The Ussy in a way you cant with other toys, which goes back to the fact that it doesnt come in a hard container.

Another fun feature: At the top of the toy, theres a little hole. If you press it, the device has a suctioning effect, using the same technology you discovered as a child when you realized you could hold water in a straw by blocking off the opening. The suction offers an even tighter sensation. When it comes to male masturbators, tightness is the name of the game, and The Ussy is clearly winning.

There are really only two downsides to the device, neither of which have to do with function.

One: It doesnt come with a case for storage. While you could prominently display The Ussy next to festive gourds and other autumnal decorations, youre still left with where to put it for the rest of the year. Its not the end of the world; you could put in a gallon container ziplock bag. Still, aesthetically, I love when sex toys come with a silk drawstring pouch or something similar.

Two: Its a little pricey, especially if you live in the United States. The Ussy, a Berlin-based sex toy, costs 149 euros, which is 162 US dollars at the time of publication. While shipping is free, theres an included VAT (tax) that adds another 23.79 eurosor an additional 26 US dollars. Thus, the device comes to a grand total of $188. For a silicone toy that doesnt vibrate, its a little steep.

Nevertheless, if you have a penis, and you like masturbators, and you figure youre going to use it more than once, then I'd recommend The Ussy. Youll definitely orgasm harder than when you use your boring ol' hands.