Surely it’s not new that married men, particularly those in Lagos, are having sustained romantic relationships and open sexual affairs with younger, single women. However, while it used to feel as though these married men tricked the unmarried women into the relationships, things seem to now be changing.
More unmarried women are apparently becoming attracted to married men, and intentionally seeking them out for seduction.
For context, over the period of over seven days on popular relationship expert, Joro Olumofin’s Instagram blog few months back, I witnessed reports upon reports roll in, personal accounts underlining the commonness of the practice and proving how it is seemingly becoming a ‘goal’ for young, single women to have married partners as opposed to dating someone single just like them.
Why single women date married men
The obvious first reason why this relationship seems to be thriving logically has to be for the financial benefits attached to such romantic affairs.
An Instagram user shares his personal experience on Joro’s Instagram page within the period mentioned above. Being single and unable to get any girls despite several attempts, he had gotten a ring and put it on his wedding finger. Like magic, girls became drawn to him and offered sex as cheaply as imaginable.
“…That wedding ring signifies success and stability which these lazy Nigeria girls like,” the anonymous user writes. Whether or not he was being 100% sincere is another thing, I concede.
Regardless, the idea, apparently, for many women who intentionally date married men, is that young men of their own age are yet to find their feet and would find it difficult to meet the outlandish demands they make in order to fund their unsustainable, opulent lifestyles. But guess who has more than enough to sponsor trips abroad, super-expensive weaves and all other aspects of the glamorous life these women seek?
Sure, you guessed right!
So the need to sustain an expensive lifestyle regardless of a low economic standing is one reason why.
Another reason for this could be the need for independence; to be free to enjoy sexual satisfaction and all other pleasures of a relationship without actually being in a relationship.
“I know a babe who is dating a married man just for the sex,” says Dairo, a photographer in Lagos.
“She says she does not want the clinginess that normal boyfriends often come with. She wants to keep partying and living as she deems fit and not shifting and bending to accommodate some guy in her life.
"They meet, have sex, hang out a little, fool around, have some great laughs; after which the married man returns home to his family and she to her preferred life of singleness.
“I think, like her, many women want both relationships benefits and the independence; a thing which may be difficult with a boyfriend or some other single guy who may likely start to catch feelings after a while of having sex.”
The relative detachment which many married men often feel towards side-chicks is very perfect and enables this independence that Dairo speaks of.
Ayo, a fun-lover, believes that there’s also a belief among women that married men, due to experience, know how to treat women better. For some other babes, this is the attraction point.
Having been with a married woman for a while and being a man in his mid-thirties and older would have enabled him to not just be more financially loaded, but also very experienced at treating women with more care and their bodies to more pleasure.
Dating married men is wrong
The reasons for dating married people, no matter how logical they sound to those proffering them, are still not, and never will be enough, to justify the practice of dating someone else's husband. And of course, it won't hold water as an excuse for married men who cheat on their wives, too.
Some might say karma will show up at your doorstep later in life, but whether or not it does is a 50-50 thing. In the meantime though, deal with the battle in your conscience.