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Why you should keep an open mind before and after you get into a relationship

Your chances are vastly improved this way than when you’re unwilling to sample the array of possibilities that life often presents.

Why you should keep an open mind before and after you get into a relationship. [Credit: Morsa/Images Getty]

It’s pretty simple – to actually enjoy a relationship, to find happiness and discover a level of satisfaction that comes with being in love with the right person, you would need to keep an open mind.

Your chances are vastly improved this way than when you’re being closed-minded and unwilling to sample the array of possibilities that life often presents.

Being open-minded is the quality of being willing to listen to or accept different ideas or opinions. Expanding your mind and becoming more open-minded offers you a road to new ideas and beliefs.

How this plays into relationships

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Many single people, for instance, are limited by the things they seek in a potential partner. Remaining single could sometimes be because of the rigidity of beliefs and expectations you have concerning the type of man or woman you want to date. And while there is nothing wrong with having set standards and expectations, having a closed mind could either deter you from meeting some really great people, or inhibit you from trying to connect with them at all.

And here’s the funny thing about life and especially love, there’s always a surprise lurking somewhere. Things do not always go as planned and life is not always in black and white. In this context, what this means is that while it is OK to have well-defined, set-in-stone dating plans and relationship goals, you should not be so stiff as to the methods of achieving them.

It’s OK to have sensible core values such as dating only respectful, family-oriented people, and refuse to have them shaken off, what’s not OK is to limit your search to only a tribe, or a state or some factor that should not be so relevant, especially in this modern times.

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The idea of open-mindedness here is to ensure that even though you have valid emotional needs and romantic goals, do not defeat them by being restrictive with your approach.

That a guy wants to go dutch on a first date with you does not mean he is stingy or broke, that you feel like calling him first does not mean you are being desperate, that a woman wants to take a man out on a date does not mean he will lose his ego, that a woman shoots her shot does not make her a slut.

To get into a relationship that actually works, one has to recognize that some changes may be required here and there. If you are close-minded, that should be one of the things you change – and it’ll be great if you begin before you get into a relationship.

Sex with an open-mind

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For many, particularly in conservative African climes as ours, sex is to be initiated by the man, acquiesced to by the woman; to be done in pitch black rooms with the man on top and limited only to certain actions and predispositions.

These and other traditional outlooks on sex need to be binned.

When it comes to sex, the idea is to give and take pleasure in massive doses. The only check on that is to be healthy, safe and consensual at all times.

Sex toys, anal sex, educative sex videos, myriads of sex positions, chocolate sex, sex adventures, role plays, blindfolds, dirty talk… the whole nine yards! It’s all right there in front of you to be explored.

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When it comes to sex, one of the worst things you can do to yourself and your partner is to be unwilling to give things a try, at least to judge them for yourself instead of forming your opinions on those things off hearsay and the experiences of others.

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