How happy couples resolve their relationship disputes

So in every relationship, there are two people with different backgrounds, mindsets and opinions coming together to try and create something perfect with their love.

However, before actualising the type of bond they hope for, there will be periods of differences, quarrels and disagreements and disputes which have the tendency of breaking things apart.

On the other hand, they could be building blocks on which better understanding can be built for better relationships.

To remain happy and not have disputes ruin your relationship, here are 5 time-tested things you have to know:

1. Communicate

The answer to a disagreement with your boo is not in taking a break, or just walking away from the fight in the hope that time will help gloss over the issue.

If you do this, you leave issues unaddressed and resentment gets the opportunity to grow unchecked.

Always discuss the possibility of the issue on hand being the offshoot of a deeper problem. Part of knowing the best time to converse is picking the right time and that’s actually the first thing partners need to realise.

2. What you say during a fight

Let the issue be the bone of contention. Let your discontent be focused on the issue and not your partner. Be guided in when communicating your dissatisfaction.

According to According to John Gray, an associate pastor at Joel Osteen’s church, one particular sign that your fights are unhealthy is “when you purposefully go out of bounds to harm the other individual with your words.”

John Gray is the Pastor whose clip Ciara shared on Twitter recently, causing a huge controversy with the advise that single ladies need to stop seeking husbands while having girlfriend mentality.

ALSO READ: How will I recognise my soul mate?

3. Let things go

What’s better of resolving disputes? Not having disputes at all. Instead of complaining and making an issue of everything, it actually makes sense to ignore some times, given that the issues are not grand and it’s not something they repeat all the time.

4. Forgive

Forgiveness is key. Without it, dispute resolution in and reaching better understanding in a relationship will only be a myth.

Reaching a resolution in quarrels among couples often has to do with someone admitting wrong and apologizing; an act to be met with a willingness and a quickness to forgive.

5. Don’t bring up the past

Part of learning to forgive is also learning how to forget. It’s not so pleasant to be in a relationship with someone who dredges up your past mistakes every time something else comes up.

If it’s more than few weeks old, no point rehashing it over and over again.

On the flipside, partners need to also realise that to forget, one needs not be reminded. If you wrong your partner and then go back to doing that same thing again, you make it difficult for him or her to let that thing go.

Partners need to do better – at forgiving and at avoiding things that’ll warrant forgiveness.