Why 'For Better for Worse' Feels Impossible in Modern Marriages

Marriage is often described as a partnership where two people vow to stand by each other “for better or for worse.” Yet, in many modern relationships, the promise of weathering life’s storms seems fragile.

When challenges arise, some couples find themselves teetering on the edge of separation or divorce, raising questions about why marriages today struggle to withstand hardship.

At the heart of marriage vows lies the commitment to face both joy and adversity together. The phrase “for better or for worse” is intended to prepare couples for life’s inevitable difficulties such as financial struggles, health issues, disagreements, or family pressures.

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However, in practice, the vow is often tested sooner and harder than anticipated. For many modern couples, the reality of a single setback whether a financial crisis, betrayal, or major disagreement can trigger thoughts of leaving rather than staying to work through the issue.

One reason modern marriages struggle is the culture of high expectations and instant gratification. Many people enter marriage hoping for continuous happiness, romance, and convenience.

When reality falls short, the disappointment can feel unbearable. In an age where social media constantly showcases idealised relationships, couples may compare their struggles to others’ seemingly perfect lives.

This comparison can amplify dissatisfaction, making small or temporary challenges seem insurmountable.

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Modern couples often lack the tools to navigate conflict effectively. When disagreements or crises arise, many respond with avoidance, anger, or withdrawal instead of open communication and problem-solving.

Without proper conflict resolution, issues escalate quickly, creating resentment and emotional distance. The result is a fragile relationship that appears stable until a “worse” moment pushes it to the edge.

Marriage requires compromise and emotional labour, especially during tough times. Modern lifestyles emphasise comfort and personal fulfilment, and some individuals are unwilling to endure discomfort or sacrifice when challenges appear.

Many people desire outcomes like success or happiness but shy away from the hard work it demands. In marriage, this translates to wanting love and partnership but avoiding the difficult conversations, sacrifices, and efforts needed when things go wrong.

Financial pressures, demanding work schedules, and family expectations can also strain marriages. When couples face these external stressors without strong support or coping strategies, their relationship can feel like a constant battle.

Even minor issues, when compounded, may push partners toward thoughts of separation rather than collaboration.

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At the core, modern marriages often fail at the “edge of the worse” because resilience is undervalued. True commitment means staying together when life is uncomfortable, unfair, or painful not only during times of joy.

Couples who cultivate empathy, patience, and effective communication are more likely to endure hardships and emerge stronger.

Rather than seeing difficulties as signs of failure, couples can reframe challenges as opportunities for growth. Facing adversity together builds trust, strengthens bonds, and teaches important life lessons.

Recognising that “worse” moments are temporary and manageable can help couples stay committed rather than rush toward divorce

While marriage vows promise “for better or for worse,” many modern couples struggle when confronted with life’s tougher moments.

High expectations, poor conflict management, avoidance of discomfort, and external pressures contribute to this fragility.

True marital resilience requires commitment, patience, communication, and the willingness to endure challenges together. Only when couples embrace both the better and the worse can marriage fulfil its promise as a lifelong partnership.