There is a lot to be said for external pressure to find a man or woman to settle down with.

When your parents are not bothering you, it is your friends forming a pressure group on your case. The wrongness of this needless exercise has been pointed out over and over again, particularly in this opinion piece here.

What doesn’t get enough attention is self pressure to marry. Of course it’s a mental conditioning that comes as an offshoot of society’s stance on marrying early, or at some certain ‘acceptable’ age.

There is a societal pressure to marry before 30 many times [Credit: Cinder & Co]
There is a societal pressure to marry before 30 many times [Credit: Cinder & Co]

But just as pressure from external sources is wrong, so is pressure that has been internalised- and here are reasons why:

1.      Only you are in charge of your life

When it comes down to the crux of it, only you have the control over your decisions and while there are influences outside that could determine the things that you decide to do, the decision to be or not to be, to move or not to move, to leap or not to, and of course, to marry or not, it all boils down to you.

So why would you want to put yourself under this undue pressure?

ALSO READ: Why are you rushing to get married?

2.   There’s time on your side

We cannot say this enough – time is on your side! Marrying at 30 or above is not a symptom of failure. Marrying at 25 is not a guarantee of a happiness that surpasses your wedding day. Jangling biological clocks are not ticking as loudly as they make you think. It’s all a ruse to get you to conform to what society think is right. And while that may have its merits and actually work for some people, it does not mean it will for you.

You’re doing just fine by yourself. No need to change that when the right person has not come around just yet.

You could end up in a wrong marriage if you  keep pressuring yourself. [Credit: Ebony]
You could end up in a wrong marriage if you keep pressuring yourself. [Credit: Ebony]

3.   You may end up settling for trash

By setting yourself in a race against time, you are increasing the possibility of settling for what is less than ideal.

Matter of fact, you may end up with actual trash. Why leave your life now just so you can be joint at the hip to a pile of gabbage?

It is better to wait for the one, no matter how long it takes. It may sound alien, but it is the truth. If your expectations are healthy and reasonable and no one looks to be matching up to it just yet, wait for it. It’ll happen and you’ll be happy you did wait.

Better that than settling for something that’ll rob you of your peace of mind in the long run.