3 ways to identify your purpose, according to relationship consultant

Josephine Amuzu 16:19 - 20 September 2026

There is a point in life when you can look around and feel as though everyone else has figured things out except you.

Someone is building a career. Another person has started a business. Someone else seems to know exactly what they want from life, while you are still asking yourself what you are actually meant to be doing.

And the longer you remain uncertain, the easier it becomes to feel like you are falling behind.

But what if discovering your purpose is not about having everything figured out at a certain age?

For people who feel lost or are struggling to understand what they are meant to do with their lives, Dr. Kelly Daniels says the clues may already be within them.

According to the relationship consultant and family advocate, discovering your purpose can begin by paying attention to what you love, what you hate and how you feel about helping other people.

In an interview with Pulse Ghana, Dr. Daniels explained that a person's life experiences can also offer clues to the purpose they are meant to pursue.

Here are five ways he says you can begin identifying your purpose.

1. Pay attention to what you hate the most

The things that frustrate you or upset you deeply may be pointing you towards something you are meant to address.

Dr. Daniels says what you hate the most can give you the passion to want to correct it.

In other words, instead of simply asking yourself what you enjoy, pay attention to the problems that you strongly wish could be different.

What situation consistently bothers you? What problem do you find yourself wanting to solve? What do you wish someone would do something about?

For Dr. Daniels, that strong reaction can be a clue.

2. Identify what you love the most

Your purpose may also be connected to something you naturally enjoy doing.

Dr. Daniels says what you love the most gives you the passion to keep doing it without being told.

That means the activities you repeatedly return to may deserve closer attention.

It could be something you enjoy creating, teaching, organising, solving, discussing or doing for others.

The important thing is, to notice what you are naturally drawn to rather than only focusing on what you think you are supposed to be doing.

3. Look at your desire to help people

Another clue, according to Dr. Daniels, is your compassion or passion to help others.

He gave an example from his own life, explaining that he has supported children with their education by paying their school fees, even though he does not publicise it.

For him, helping others is something he loves doing and considers connected to his purpose.

His point is that purpose does not necessarily have to begin with a job title or a career.

Sometimes, it can be seen in the things you genuinely care about and the difference you want to make in the lives of others.

Your experiences can also tell you something about what you are meant to do.

Dr. Daniels explained that his own life situation helped shape who he is today as a relationship consultant and family advocate.

He said: “Everybody's life experience is tied to the purpose they are meant to correct in their lives.”

This means your story may contain clues that you have overlooked.

The challenges you have experienced, the lessons you have learned and the problems you have become passionate about may all help you understand the direction you want your life to take.

Rather than seeing your experiences only as things that happened to you, Dr. Daniels' perspective suggests looking at what those experiences have taught you and what they have made you care about.

If you still feel lost, Dr. Daniels says you can return to three simple questions: What makes you happy? What makes you sad? And how are you willing to help people?

Discovering your purpose is only the beginning.

Dr. Daniels makes a distinction between discovering your purpose and actually putting it into practice. He says knowing your purpose is not enough; you also have to activate it and see whether it is producing results.

So, if you are feeling lost, perhaps the question is not simply, “What is my purpose?”

It may be worth starting with smaller questions: What do I love? What deeply bothers me? What do I care enough about to help others with? And what has my own life taught me?

According to Dr. Daniels, the answers may already be pointing you in a direction.

You may not have everything figured out yet, but that does not necessarily mean you are behind. Sometimes, discovering yourself begins with paying closer attention to the things that have been part of your story all along.