When someone finally opens up, don’t make them regret it

Sometimes, a person does not need you to have all the answers. They need you to listen, take their concerns seriously and make them feel that they do not have to face their struggles alone.

The death of Bright Gyan Koomson, a former MTN employee and member of Wesley Methodist Cathedral, has brought renewed attention to the importance of listening to people who may be battling emotional distress in silence.

In a suicide note reportedly dated September 30, 2026, Koomson described struggles with addiction, depression, guilt and financial pressure, despite appearing happy to those around him.

He wrote that an earlier attempt to share his difficulties had been dismissed as a joke and that his friends did not believe he was struggling. He also indicated that he had been contemplating suicide since around 2023.

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His account raises an important question: how often do we dismiss the struggles of people around us because they do not look unhappy, or because we assume they are joking when they try to talk about what they are going through?

While no single conversation can explain or prevent every suicide, listening without judgment and helping someone access appropriate support are important ways to respond when a person is in distress.

A friend who makes everyone laugh, a colleague who is always cheerful at work or a church member who regularly socialises may still be experiencing serious emotional difficulties.

People do not always express their struggles in ways others can easily recognise. Some continue to work, attend social gatherings and support those around them while privately dealing with problems they find difficult to discuss.

This is why it is important not to rely solely on someone's outward appearance when checking on their wellbeing.

Dr Maame Afua Dzifa Kpodo-Tay explained that people who appear cheerful can still be experiencing emotional distress.

Rather than assuming that a person is fine because they are smiling, make time to ask how they are really doing.

A simple question such as, “How have you been coping lately?” can give someone an opportunity to talk about what is happening in their life.

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One of the most troubling aspects of Koomson’s account is his claim that his attempt to share his struggles was dismissed as a joke.

When someone opens up about emotional difficulties, the response they receive can influence whether they feel comfortable speaking again.

Statements such as “You are overthinking,” “You have everything, so what are you complaining about?” or “You will be fine” may be intended to reassure someone, but they can also make the person feel that their concerns are not being taken seriously.

You do not have to understand everything someone is experiencing before you listen.

Instead of immediately questioning their feelings, allow them to explain what is troubling them. Ask what they mean, how long they have felt that way and what kind of support they need.

If you are unsure what to say, you can tell them, “I may not fully understand what you are going through, but I am willing to listen.”

The goal is not to judge whether their problems are serious enough. It is to understand what they are telling you and help them find appropriate support.

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Many conversations between friends and colleagues revolve around work, money, relationships, family responsibilities and everyday activities.

Although asking “How are you?” is common, the question can become routine, with both people expecting the usual response: “I am fine.”

Making a genuine effort to check on someone means being willing to listen if the answer is different.

If a friend has become unusually withdrawn, a colleague seems persistently distressed or someone repeatedly says they are struggling, consider following up privately.

You could send a message, arrange a call or ask whether they would like to talk somewhere comfortable.

It is also important to check in more than once. Someone may not feel ready to discuss their problems during the first conversation.

However, respect their boundaries and avoid pressuring them to disclose personal information. Let them know you are available and encourage them to speak with someone they trust or a qualified professional.

Checking in should not be reserved only for moments when a person appears to be in crisis. Regular, thoughtful conversations can help people feel less isolated.

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Friends and colleagues are not expected to diagnose depression or other mental health conditions. However, they can pay attention to changes that may suggest someone is struggling.

These may include withdrawing from people, losing interest in activities they previously enjoyed, noticeable changes in behaviour, expressing hopelessness or repeatedly talking about feeling like a burden.

Comments about wanting to die or being unable to continue should never be brushed aside as jokes or attention-seeking.

If you are concerned, ask calmly and directly whether the person is thinking about suicide. Asking does not put the idea into someone's mind; it can give them an opportunity to speak honestly about what they are experiencing.

If they say they may harm themselves, take them seriously. Encourage them to seek professional help. If there is an immediate risk, stay with them if it is safe to do so and arrange urgent assistance.

You do not have to manage the situation alone.

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Listening to someone who is struggling can be difficult, particularly when their problems involve addiction, depression, debt, relationship difficulties or other serious concerns.

You may want to help but feel unsure what to do. You may also worry about saying the wrong thing.

Remember that supporting someone does not mean you must solve all their problems.

You can acknowledge their feelings, ask what they need, help them find a counsellor or mental health professional, or offer to accompany them to an appointment.

Avoid promising to keep suicidal thoughts secret if someone's safety is at risk. Where necessary, involve a trusted person or professional who can help protect them.

It is equally important to recognise your own limits. You can care for someone while seeking guidance from qualified professionals about how best to support them.

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Koomson’s account is also a reminder of the importance of creating environments where people can discuss emotional difficulties without fear of ridicule or rejection.

At work, managers and colleagues can encourage respectful conversations about wellbeing and make information about professional support accessible.

Among friends, people can learn to listen without turning another person's disclosure into gossip or a joke.

Families and faith communities can also help by responding compassionately when someone admits they are struggling.

These efforts cannot guarantee that every person in distress will seek help or that every suicide will be prevented. However, they can help challenge the stigma that often makes it difficult for people to talk about mental health.

Ghana’s Mental Health Authority has a toll-free helpline, 0800 678 678, for people experiencing emotional distress or seeking mental health support, according to a Ghana News Agency report marking World Suicide Prevention Day 2026.

People who are worried about a loved one can also seek guidance from qualified mental health professionals on how to respond.

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The lesson from Koomson’s account is not that friends must have the perfect words or that one person is responsible for another person's mental health.

It is that we should not dismiss someone's distress simply because we cannot see it, understand it or relate to it.

When a friend says they are struggling, listen. When a colleague seems different, check in. When someone shares something painful, resist the urge to judge, mock or immediately compare their problems with your own.

Sometimes, you will not know what to say. That is okay. You can still make time, ask questions, show compassion and help the person find professional support.

We may not always be able to fix what someone is going through, but we can choose not to make them feel unheard when they finally speak up.