5 Warning Signs You're Heading For a Breakup This Christmas

Dorcas Agambila 14:05 - 28 November 2025

Forget Mariah Carey on repeat and twinkling fairy lights, if the thought of putting up the Christmas tree fills you with dread, your relationship might be in trouble. According to Capsule NZ, December 11 is the most common day for couples to break up each year.

And it’s no coincidence: the fortnight leading up to Christmas has been dubbed "breakup season" by relationship experts, as festive cheer can often expose cracks in even the strongest partnerships.

Facebook data backs this up, revealing a spike in relationship status changes from “in a relationship” to “single” in the weeks before Christmas. While most avoid breaking up on the holiday itself, the lead-up can be fatal for struggling couples.

So how can you tell if your relationship might not survive the season? Here are five key red flags to watch out for:

1. Your partner adds to the holiday stress

Christmas can already be overwhelming, with gift shopping, family gatherings, and end-of-year work deadlines. Ideally, your partner should provide comfort, not extra anxiety.

“If you’re worried about how they’ll behave at your family party, or if their demands make your to-do list feel impossible, that’s a serious warning sign,” explains Capsule NZ.

One woman recalled her first-year college boyfriend constantly demanding expensive visits and showing up uninvited at 3 a.m. on New Year’s Eve, turning celebrations into chaos.

2. No plans for the new year

Couples who are invested in their future naturally discuss what lies ahead, even if it’s as simple as which friends to see in January.

“Avoiding any conversation about the future or feeling anxious at the thought of planning together can indicate that your subconscious is already preparing to exit the relationship

The new year often inspires fresh starts, and sometimes that means leaving a partner behind.

3. Gift-giving causes tension

For most, giving gifts is a way to show love, but if it’s become a source of stress, that’s a red flag.

Roughly 40% of people see ending a relationship as an escape from the burden of buying holiday presents, according to Refinery29. Financial pressure and resentment over spending can reveal deeper problems: “If money, rather than joy, drives your gift-giving, it’s a sign something isn’t right,” says Cosmopolitan.

4. Avoiding family events

Family gatherings are a key relationship milestone. Over half of couples feel the pressure to involve their partners in family celebrations, according to Refinery29.

“If your partner is avoiding introductions or making excuses not to attend, it could signal embarrassment, uncertainty, or emotional withdrawal,” says Cosmopolitan. One woman shared how her boyfriend hesitated to meet her family, leaving her feeling unsupported and concerned about his commitment.

5. Your gut is warning you

Sometimes, you simply know. A persistent sense that something is wrong, despite being unable to articulate it, often precedes a breakup.

Experts emphasise that ignoring these instincts can prolong emotional pain. Pretending everything is fine may seem easier in the moment, but it can lead to resentment and prevent honest boundaries in future relationships.

Sometimes, the most compassionate gift you can give yourself, and your partner, is honesty. A dead relationship dragged into a new year won’t magically revive. It will only ensure another twelve months of stress, resentment, and loneliness. And no one deserves that, not even at Christmas.

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